easy things:

a. taking a shower
b. making coffee, (bustelo),
c. making tea, (earl grey, vanilla rooibos)
d. using the words: blue, sky
e. filling the beer basket in my fridge
f. laying in bed, on my stomach
g. walking around naked in my apartment
h. developing brief crushes (punk acoustic guitar boy, awkward charming clinical psych researcher, depressed ex-punk guitar hero boy on too many opiates, semi-shy nerdy hot rock band boy, semi-shy guitarist boy who looked better with a beard, boring academic psych researcher, russian-punk boy who plays summertime & the electric, depressing ex-wannabe punk nerd boy who loves motown, hot stalker nerdy doctor boy who calls me clementine or tangerine, beautiful dreaded steampunk graphic novelist boy who's had too much lifetime-pot, foodie southern writer boy who turned out to be awkward, bearded trombone boy whose voice was unsexy, trombone boy who i have no interest in meeting because he's a blondy, southern biologist nerd boy, punk boy, hipster faux-punk boy,)
i. making friends, network-zoning, bro-zoning, friend-zoning, i-don't-need-this-zoning
j. taking another shower, (extra-hot for guilt and/or anxiety, kneeling if needed)
k. baking brownies
l. guilt-spiraling
m. hugging my pillows, which smell nice; fresh summertime air & my own skin-scent
n. existential-state oscillation
o. playing music (pandora, guitar)
p. not making it to "z"
q. not being alone, being alone, being blasé, being disinterested, being mellow, being content, being distracted, being distracted by fun sharp things, being in love with paper, being in love with color, being in love with noir, being somebody else, being inspired, being comfortable, being bored with comfort & ease
r. watching a movie on a computer
s. coin-operated people/machines/toys/pets
t. winter in the shut window, summer in the open window, blue skies & clouds in both
u. breaking out in song
v. playing with my ipad
w. hanging upside down off the edge of my bed
x. procrastinating
y. making more coffee
z. triteness

hard things:

i. penises, tits, diamonds, glass, tables, concrete, the hardest level of video games
ii. taking vitamins
iii. packing up: my room, my apartment.
iv. the unbearable lightness of being
v. быть серьезнaya
vi. liquor, marbles, the desire to fuck things up
vii. blades, bottles, lamps & lightbulbs
viii. my teeth, bones, walls
ix. being a stellar soul
x. my guts

two truths and a lie:
- the sweetness will not be concerned with me
- alice: why won't you let me love you?
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