wher're you gonna run to? you want a hideaway or rescue, but all you're going to find, is talk. and you're going to want real bad that you didn't run, but that you stayed, & fought, flight or fight, even though you really thought it was going to be a losing battle anyway, for the chance to reap the emotional reward of finding something you always wanted to be real and yours. it's a person on the other side, someone battling the same losing battle with these ghosts & choices you've made, to go  hand-in-hand with you, to make different choices than the ones you would've made alone. it's a pooling of dreams & strengths, where hopefully the strength in one arena, could cancel out the permanent cracks in other's flaws.

it's like saying, i know you're a coward and not that into me, but i'm going to stay anyway. and you see how you feel about me, whether you need me or not. you read me wrong, so read again. everyone needs me, why wouldn't you? we all need each other. who cares who stands to gain or benefit? do you want this? yes? no? well, i'm here and i've got faith in you. so don't let me down. because i care. that's all love is, at the end of the day. it's care. if you care, it's love. and if you don't, then it's not.

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we all have a downtown hell. spend a few years bonding over tragic stories on the bar counter. i wish i had a drinking buddy; someone different & new, with no investment in my life to trade stories with.